A pumpkin horror story

It’s almost that time, children — Halloween. So gather round while I tell you a little pumpkin story….

Once upon a time, there was a giant 18-pound pumpkin who lived in a cardboard box at the grocery store. As the weeks passed, he watched his friends — one by one — get lifted up by smiling parents and children and gently placed into carts before being whisked away to their new lives. But no one chose him.

One Friday night, a tired-looking couple approached the box.

“Might as well get a pumpkin,” said the man. “Almost Halloween, you know. Besides, the kids will want one.”

The woman didn’t look up from her list. “Sure, sure,” she said. “Pick whichever one you want. I’m going to go find salsa.”

As he was hauled up by his stem, the pumpkin silently cheered. I’m outta here! I’m going to a new home! And they’ve even got children who want me!

Never was there a happier pumpkin.


After he arrived at his new house and spent the night sleeping on the dining room buffet, he awoke to the children, oohing and aahing over him. He preened (as much as a pumpkin can preen) for a time, but then the family went about their day, leaving him to sit and wonder when they would come back for him.

On Sunday evening, after suppertime, he saw the mother approach with two ice cream scoops.

two scoops

Before he knew what was happening, he suddenly had a splitting headache.


And then his world turned upside down.

pumpking gutting

After suffering a great deal of indignity, he was upright once again. And he was not happy.


“Is it over yet?” cried two mummified pumpkins that he had never noticed before.

mummified pumpkins

“Uh oh, look out!” the little one warned as the bigger one covered his good eye, “It’s time for the plastic surgery!”

And with a few quick zips from the father’s electric carving knife, the pumpkin’s life would never be the same.

Glowing with new purpose, he realized that he had transformed into a new self. He was pumpkin no longer.

jackolantern pipumpkin pi

He had become a pumpkin pie.


About thethingaboutjoan

Mom of three who knits a little, bakes a lot, crafts a bit and blogs about it all.
This entry was posted in Blogging, Halloween and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to A pumpkin horror story

  1. Micha says:

    What a cute post…you have such a way with words, Joan! Have a Happy Halloween!

  2. That’s adorable Joan!

  3. Love it! I am totally going to need to make Pumpkin “Pie” next year! 🙂

  4. amyp22 says:

    My tween would love your family’s sense of humor! He is going as a cereal kille for Halloween.

    • I love that costume! A friend of mine said her dental hygienist put on an all-black outfit with those glow-in-the-dark stars and planet stickers. Her costume? “Center of the Universe.”

      Happy Halloween!

  5. Ha! Love it. Pumpkin Pie….Ha!

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